When you “get over it” you don’t necessarily avoid a problem. Instead, you shift your thinking and change your focus. You no longer focus on the past but focus on the future. The future holds the key to your happiness and inner peace. This does not mean you should ever forget but it means should you put your energy and thoughts into what can be.
There is a phrase in the conflict resolution field called “ripeness”. Ripeness in the conflict resolution world means a person is ready to put a conflict behind them. It is the ideal mindset for someone to be in when resolving a conflict.
Being “ripe to resolve” means that you are willing to move on and not let your negative emotions hold you. Negative emotions such as guilt and revenge are distractions. Being “ripe to resolve” is the only way to truly” get over it”. This is because you need to think clearly when resolving conflict in order to peacefully problem solve.
If you want to resolve a conflict, consider the following questions to motivate you to “move on” and focus your energy and thoughts on peaceful problem solving.
- How is the conflict affecting you negatively?
- What can you lose if the conflict continues? (Your reputation, a friendship, your job?)
- How is this conflict affecting your health?
- Would you feel better if you could spend your time thinking about what can be rather than what happened?
- Are you losing sleep because you are thinking about the conflict?
- Would it be better to spend your time and money on something else rather than going to court?
Dr. Gail J. Shapiro is a conflict resolution practitioner. She coaches people through conflict and helps them peacefully problem solve in order to avoid loss and litigation. Make an appointment with her today. You can discuss moving on and using the energy from a conflict in a more positive and productive way! www.connecticutmediation.com 203-247-3056.