I learned a startling rule when I first studied mediation. The rule was difficult for me to accept. It was, “the truth is irrelevant in a mediation.” Evidence is not allowed.
We have all been there. Your heart is beating. You can’t think straight. Someone has upset you. Your blood may be boiling but you can’t yell or scream or hit anything. In the workplace (and everywhere else) conflict must be handled in a smart, calm, civilized way. You can do this.
There are certain essential ingredients that go into baking a cake. One essential ingredient for most cake recipes is flour. Without the flour there would not be a cake. Personality clash is to workplace conflicts like flour is to cake. They are both essential ingredients. Take away the personality clash and the conflict may disappear.
When you “get over it” you don’t necessarily avoid a problem. Instead, you shift your thinking and change your focus. You no longer focus on the past but focus on the future. The future holds the key to your happiness and inner peace. This does not mean you should ever forget but it means should you put your energy and thoughts into what can be.
A story about a conflict between two people is a snapshot in time. But there is also a story about the hours that led up to the conflict episode. The hours before a crisis situation can be a crucial key to understanding behavior.